Parent’s University: Reinforce Rules with Repetition

Posted on 01.16.08 in Parenthood Parents University and there are 9 comments.

(This is my entry for Parent’s University. Submit your own post or just follow along for some great ideas.)

I’ve noticed that when my children break a rule, it’s more often out of forgetfulness than sheer disobedience. At 3 and 5 years old, they have a lot of information to process everyday and it’s my job to help them filter through to the important things.

We have “catch phrases”, songs and signals to help them remember and follow many of our rules.

My Mad Songwriting Skillz

For example, to remind our kids not to go outside, not to go in the street and not to touch the oven, I’ve written a song.

It’s called, “Don’t Go Outside, Don’t Go In The Street, Don’t Touch The Oven.”

And the lyrics are, “Don’t go outside, don’t go in the street, don’t touch the oven.”

Watch for it on the Grammys.

My girls love to sing it and I’ll occasionally hear them sing it to one another to remind them not to break a rule.

Quickly, Completely and Cheerfully

We also have a phrase that we’ve adopted from the folks at our church. When we ask our children to do something, we expect them to obey “Quickly, Completely and Cheerfully.”

We say this phrase many times throughout the day. If we find them dillydallying or being grumpy, we’ll ask them how we obey. They often run through the phrase in their head and then correct their actions.

Hand Signals

We also use a little hand signal to help them remember to ask for things politely. If they need the milk and say, “Give me the milk.” We’ll give them a thumbs up signal. They then remember to say, “May I have the milk?” as they open up each finger for each word until their hand is stretched out. (I also make them add, “Please beautiful, wonderful, and gracious Mommy. But that’s entirely optional.)

Repetition in Discipline

Finally, when one of the kids breaks a rule, we often use repetition as part of the discipline. Say they speak in a rude voice to their sister, I’ll have them apologize and then they have to say, “I will use a nice voice when I talk to my sister” 10 times. Normally, everyone recites the phrase together because they think it’s fun.

Conclusion

If there’s anything kids love, it’s repetition. Sometimes that works against our sanity, but we can also use it for good by developing creative ways to teach them. After all, that’s what discipline is all about - teaching our kids.

(I’ve added a clip of The Smaller Person singing our hit song...)

The Comments:

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Brilliant.

Seriously.

Can I just give my kids to you until they’re 20ish?

That was some very useful stuff.  Thanks.  My wife’s gonna think I’m a parenting guru when I do this stuff without giving you credit.

I’ve seen you in action and I can say that you are doing something right!  My husband and I have often said that your kids are some of the most polite we have ever been around.  I mean, really, how many five year olds say, “May I please have some milk?” It’s more like, “Mommy!  Milk!!!” I remember once when I was babysitting, I asked Small and Smaller if they wanted more applesauce and they both replied, “No, thank you.” Need I say more?

One other thing, the “quickly, completely, and cheerfully” thing is actually not from our church.  It was originally from John or Joy Dawson, I think.  Someone correct me if I am wrong.  Just thought you might want to know.  I have heard some families with small children adapt it to “fast, happy and all the way.” Cute.

Kat, you cannot post the lyrics to a song without audio.  I mean c’mon, we know you can do it, you’ve done it here many times!  Let us HEAR that song!

This information is great...too bad my kids are 16 & 17!  Think any of these would work on them? Our basic discipline is grounding at this stage, from anything they enjoy.  Lucikly, they’re both pretty mature and do most things they’re supposed to do, so we don’t have to ground them often.  Parents University is a great idea though, I wish blogging had been around 10-15 years ago!

This may be another topic, but one thing I’ve always done is used songs, repetition, alliteration and rhyming to help them study for quizzes and tests.  Well, actually, I still do that...but they make fun of me now.  Then they tell me the next day that they were laughing in class because they used the stupid song I made up to remember the answer to something.

My little guy isn’t to the talking stage yet (well, unless you count “dada"), but I’m taking notes!  Thanks for the great tips!

Shaun,

Ha!

Glad you liked it.

Psalm8410,
Awww...thanks. That really means a lot.

People change “Quickly, Completely and Cheerfully?”
But...but...the alliteration is (almost) perfect…

And I thought that was a Siebert exclusive. Thanks for the background.

Cristy,
Ask and you shall receive. I just added audio of The Small Person singing “The Song.”

Those are great ideas for studying. My oldest has to memorize a Bible verse at school each week and we often make up a song to help her.

Cool mum,
You’re welcome!

Kat,
Perhaps there are too many syllables for some who are verbally challenged.  I’m pretty sure it’s our good friend (you know, the one you’ve known since 5th grade?) who does “fast, happy, all the way.” I think it must work better for her boys.

Thanks Kat!  Great song. 

Repetition story:  My mom used to tell when I was growing up, every day as I walked out the door to go to school “Good-bye, be careful, be good, I love you.” I did the same to my kids to the point that they now say, “Mom, I’m leaving. I know...good-bye, be careful, be good, you love me.”

Some degree of repetition is needed in learning all tasks. Infants use it to learn to speak. Athletes use it to perfect athletic skills. Musicians use repetition to learn difficult chords. One can even argue that after our first baby steps, we learned to walk by repeating the motion. After numerous repetitions, some went on to become Olympic track champions.

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