Parents University: How to Find Personal Time and Have Free Date Nights

Posted on 02.20.08 in Parenthood Parents University and there are 8 comments.

(This is my entry for this week’s Parent’s University series. Click here to read the other entries.)

My Tips

1. Personal Time
One of my favorite ways to get a little personal time is when Jimmy watches the kids and sends me to a coffee shop.

We try to do this every Sunday and I must say I look forward to it all week. It’s just so helpful knowing that on Sunday at 2pm, I’ll know be able to have a complete thought.

If your spouse isn’t able to do this, another option would be to head to your local gym. Most gyms have childcare. A good workout and a few minutes of solitude can do wonders for a parent.

2. Date Nights
We used to use a babysitter when we went out on dates. It got pretty expensive, though, between the cost of the sitter, dinner and a movie. Consequently, we rarely went on date nights.

What we do now is switch date nights with another family. So, one week I’ll go watch their kid while they go out on a date and the next week they’ll watch our kids while we go out on a date.

It’s worked really well for us, it saves a lot of money and we have more regular date nights.

The Comments:

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Switching date nights with another family is a really great idea!  I think I’ll have to see if I can find a friend to do that!

I have a baby sitter who has a baby and is going to school, so I watch her baby during the day one day a week, and she watches my boys on Friday nights so we can have a night out.  It really does save us money, and helps out tremendously. 

As far as personal time, I take baths at night and read.  It’s nice to just have a half hour of peace.  I don’t have that much personal time, I do a lot of my crafts and things I enjoy with my kids.

Wow, switching date nights with another family!  What a FABULOUS idea! We should do that, too!

We tried the switching nights with a family for awhile, but we each have 3 kids and the 6 kids at once just got a bit overwhelming! My advice: live in the wsame town as your inlaws!! Mine will sit for free whenever we ask...SUCH A BLESSING!

The in-law baby sitting thing is great.  And, it builds a bond with them and the kids. 

My wife made our kids take a nap, whether they wanted to or not.  And she used that time to sit and read, relax, take a hot bath without running out of hot water (sorry dear) and whatever she had wanted to do that day.

We also have a tradition that started in year 3 of our marriage.  Every year for our anniversary, we go away for at least 2 days alone.  We go out of town so no one interupts “our time” and we can focus on each other.  Its tough if you have a nurser, but we have taken the nurser and left the others. 

Those getaways did wonders for our relationship when it was hard to make time on a weekly basis.

Jamee,
All of our kids are in bed by 8pm, so we just plan our dates for after 8pm.

For example, my husband would stay at home with our sleeping kids and I would go over to my friends house with her sleeping kids.

It makes each and every week (when we actually do this) relaxing - one week is a date night and the other is a quiet night alone at someone else’s house that I can’t clean...(and don’t need to because she’s very neat...and she reads this blog so I had to add that.)

Ah- post bedtime.....now THAT I can use!!

great idea about switching date nights with another family!!!
We also do the in law thing.  My in laws live 2 house down from us, so it is also extremely convenient.

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