Parent’s University: Third Day’s Mark Lee, Pt. 1

Posted on 09.17.08 in Parents University and there are 6 comments.

The internet is a weird thing. It can bring all kinds of people together, even rock stars and soccer moms.

Somewhere in the course of blogging and twittering I’ve gotten to know Mark Lee, guitarist for the band Third Day. And, can I say, he is the most down to earth “rock star” on the face of the planet. (I can say this because I am, in fact, friends with all rock stars...)

Let me give you an example. I asked him if he’d be willing to participate in Parent’s University about a week before his youngest daughter was born. I didn’t get the interview questions to him before she arrived, so I decided to hold off and not add to his already full plate.

So a few weeks later, he reminds me about doing the interview. First of all, I’m amazed he remembered considering he has a newborn and he’s in the midst of a huge tour with Switchfoot and Jars of Clay. Secondly, when I sent the questions to him and his wife Stephanie, not only did they take the time to answer all of them (even though I told them they only had to answer 6), but they sent their answers back within 24 hours!

I mean....seriously. I’m not Oprah. They did not need to respond so thoroughly or quickly. But they did. And I am so impressed by them.

If you don’t already follow their blogs, check them out here and here. And be sure to follow Mark and Stephanie‘s twitter feeds as well.

Without Further Ado...

1. How do you stay connected with your kids and your wife when your on the road? 

This is probably the hardest part about being in a band.  I keep my cell phone with me and stay as available as I possibly can, but sometimes I end up feeling a disconnect after being gone from home for a few days.  We as a band are very deliberate with our scheduling to make sure that we are home for at least 2-3 days every week.  There’s just no substitute for being there in person.

The upshot of our crazy schedule is that we wind up with long blocks of time where I’m home.  I don’t buy into the whole “quality time” thing.  With family it’s the quantity that matters, IMHO.

2. One night you’re on David Letterman or performing in front of thousands. The next night you’re changing diapers and making Hello Kitty waffles. Is that a tough transition?

I think the main challenge is that we often travel great lengths, literally, to get home.  Sometimes we’re taking redeye flights or getting off a bus at 5 AM.  On those days I have to make a conscious effort to engage with my family.  On an emotional or psychological level it’s probably harder on Stephanie.  She has to act as a single parent for several days in a row and then I come home and things can get off kilter.  Not to mention that I’m a total slob

3. You are a very “hands on” dad. You take Abbie to ballet, have pretend campouts and take her to Disneyland. Some dads have a hard time relating to their little girls, do you have any tips to help them?

I read somewhere that confidence and self worth are traits that girls get from their fathers.  In that spirit, I try to help Abbie explore new things and take whatever she’s interested in and expand on that.  She’s quite the little adventurer!  I’ll admit it can be a little tough getting into crafts and “playing pretend”, but a little effort seems to go a long way with kids.

4. You have a busy recording / touring schedule and your wife runs a successful store AND you have a two small children. How do you work together as a “team” to manage it all?

I like that you chose the word “team”.  That’s really the mentality you have to have. Stephanie flies solo when I’m out doing shows or in the studio, and then I come home and do the Mr. Mom thing so she can do errands or get things done at the store.  And we both play to our strengths:  Stephanie is much better at picking out Abbie’s school clothes and preparing her food, so she’ll lay all that out the night before.  I’m a little more of a morning person so I’ll get up and take Abbie to school when I’m home.

5. Has the transition from 1 child to 2 been harder or easier than you anticipated? Why?

It’s funny - going from 1 to 2 has been about the same difficulty as going from no kids to one kid was, but for completely different reasons.  When Abbie was a baby, we had to get used to the late night feedings, the lack of sleep, and being totally responsible for this other person at all times.  Now that we have two, the challenge is that our attention gets divided between the two kids.  We’ve had to be careful to not make Abbie feel like she’s “in trouble” when we’re frustrated about something with Katherine.

6. Do you have an embarrassing dad story you’d be willing to share?

The first day we took Katherine out, we went to eat lunch with Steph’s family.  I parked the car and walked inside to our table.  Everybody had this strange expression on their faces.  I had forgotten the baby!  I RAN out to the car and carried her back in, but forgot that you’re supposed to keep the baby in her little carrier thingy.  Went back and got the carrier thingy, then realized I hadn’t gotten her diaper bag.  I had totally forgotten that babies come with all these little “accessories”.  I felt like such a rookie.

To Be Continued...

Be sure t check back tomorrow for the second half of the interview! (Update: Here’s the link the Part 2)

The Comments:

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So glad you posted this! Stephanie linked to it on her Twitter.

I totally agree with all you said about these two! Never have I had any real contact with either of them, but Mark has surpised me many times. Especially during his Summer Reading Club. He took the time after having a newborn to get on and make his SRC postings. And in the midst of all that, he took more time to read everyone’s blog postings and that blessed me a lot!

Its easy to forget that these guys are just normal *well maybe not so normal in Mark’s case =P* human beings.

We Love Mark and Steph! H

You guys are so beautiful!
You are a testimony to the Grace of God and an encouragement to us all.
God Bless ya!

BTW...THANKS for that interview...to the interviewer and the viewies…

Thanks for sharing this, looking forward to tomorrow. Rockstar, superdad - what a guy.

Very cool - yay for all three of you!

I’ve always wondered about what this interview addresses--managing life in a successful band while committing time to home & family.  As a mom of five I wholeheartedly agree with Mark that it’s the QUANTITY of time with your kids that counts!  Those relationships are worth more than all the world’s riches.  May you always stay so grounded, Mark!

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