Parents University: How I Practice Patience

Posted on 02.29.08 in Parenthood and there are 3 comments.

Patience is a virtue that seem to possess in very small quantities.

Well, maybe I am more patient than I give myself credit for, but my three small children seem to squeeze every last ounce of patience from me...occasionally before I even get out of bed.

It’s something that I’ve been working on, though, and I definitely have seen some improvement. Here are a few things I do to help me practice patience.

1. I ask my girls to pray for me when I start feeling frustrated. Not only do I benefit from some really sweet prayers, but this also helps my kids to recognize that Mommy needs them to really try to obey quickly, completely and cheerfully.

2. I take time out. If I feel like I’m not responding well, I’ll give the girls coloring pages or books to read and I’ll go in the other room for a few minutes and pray.

3. I speak slowly and quietly. This prevents me from using a rude tone of voice because I’m conscious about the way I sound. It also keeps my kids calm and prevent my frustration from transferring to them.

I definitely don’t do these as often as I should, especially #3. I really need to work on always using a pleasant voice. Sometimes when I’ve been asked why for the 234,523,523 time I tend to sound disinterested or annoyed. I want to work on that…

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I have adopted your “quickly, completely, and cheerfully” motto with my kids and it has helped tremendously. I too, ask my kids to pray for me - I think it is good for them on two levels. One, they see that I have to “work” at controlling my emotions and two, they understand more about the power of prayer. It almost always brings a smile to my face.

Time outs are common in our house - not only for the kids, but for mom and dad too. I think it is so important not to discipline in anger or frustration. Many times, I give myself 10 or 15 minutes to cool off before I make any decisions about how to discipline.

But number three? Sigh. Oh, how I wish I could get that one under control. I remember my mom never raised her voice at me. I only knew I was in trouble because her voice was very quiet. She was always so pleasant and even looked pleasant. I really think that is one quality that I want. Okay, I’ve gone and written a novella here in your comment section. Sorry, but this just struck a chord with me. I really want to be better.

Karen,
Never hesitate to write “novellas” in my comments. I love it when people write long comments because it means that we’re really communicating and learning from one another.

I’m totally still working on #3 too. I think more than my voice is the faces I make. I can easily look very serious and I want to have more pleasant face when I discipline. You know, so I don’t terrify my kids…

I remember my grandmother disciplining with great calm and kindness...hopefully, those genes will start kicking in soon.

please be patient with me as I do have something I want to write concerning patience. At this moment I am dealing with a very sick baby.........must be those ears!

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