Parent’s University: 3 Tips for Stress Free Family Finances

Posted on 03.26.08 in Family Parenthood Parents University and there are 10 comments.

Finances can be one of the biggest stressors on a family.

It is listed as the number one reason for divorce.

I don’t know all the reasons why, but Jimmy and I have never had an argument about finances. Ever.

We’ve had arguments about other things, but not finances. 

Here’s our story and three things that we think have played a role in our stress free financial life.

1. Get Out of Debt.

When Jimmy and I got married we had over $35,000 in college debt. After we finished school and started working, we decided to pay off our debt as fast as we possibly could.

We were very serious about getting out of debt.

We lived in a roach infested apartment. I drove a 12 year old truck on a 45 minute commute in Houston. In the summer. Without air conditioning.

Summer. NO air conditioning...H-O-U-S-T-O-N.

As I said, we were VERY serious.

It was worth it, though.

We paid off all our debt within 1 year. And from that point on we decided that we wouldn’t go into debt for anything except a house.

There have been several times where we were tempted to take out a loan for one thing or another, but we have been very committed to staying debt free.

2. Live Within Your Means

I think the key to staying debt free, for us, has been living within our means.

If we can’t pay cash, we can’t afford it. Period.

We never owned a car in the same decade it was built until we were 26 years old.

We didn’t own a new car until we were in our 30’s. And now it’s our only car.

We have a modest home that is not quite big enough for parties, but is perfect for our family.

Having peace of mind and peace in our home has been more wonderful than a 5 bedroom house or a fancy car.

3. Covet Contentment

We’re not rich. We live off of one income. But I don’t think money really has much to do with our sense of financial freedom.

God has given us the grace to learn to be content and thankful for what we have.

If we don’t have the money for something, it doesn’t make us sad or strive, it just makes us move on.

I think that all the hard choices we’ve made along the way to say no to immediate gratification have helped change our hearts so that hard choices aren’t really all that hard anymore.

We try to focus more on what we have than what we want.

I hope this post doesn’t come across as bragging or arrogant. That’s not my intention at all. I know that finances are very difficult part of many families lives and I just wanted to share what has worked so well for us.

The Comments:

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Good advice Kat.  We too lived on one income for about 20 years, and had the happy kids to prove it. 

The living within your means thing is tough.  I mean all it takes is one rich brother-in-law to make your wife want to vacation in the Carribean every year, and then before you know it you are $35k in credit card debt. 

We have reduced our debt by almost $20k in the last 5 years.  Its hard to be disciplined when you have lived well beyond your means. 

I miss the days of paying with cash and not buying if we didn’t have the cash.

Deemus,
Yes, I’m sure it’s much, much harder, if not impossible, if both people are not on the same page about being debt free.  I’m sure it’s also much harder to cut back rather than just maintain a simple lifestyle.

I know that it helped that we started off as newlyweds with a debt free mindset.

Congrats on reducing your debt by $20k! That’s wonderful.

Great tips, Kat!  I agree with all three of your ideas...Sam and I try to follow those same guidlines, and we also don’t ever argue about finances.

“God has given us the grace to learn to be content and thankful for what we have.” That is well said and I think it’s really the key! 

This has become a big thing for us. It all started with a verse I came across in my Bible reading, “Not that I speak in respect of want; for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” (Philippians 4:11) This hit home with me as I was griping about our too small house.

We moved towards contentment in life and away from the “gimmes”. Now we drive a paid off Saturn that gets 37 MPG. It’s not gorgeous, new or fast, but it’s very reliable and fits our needs (not necessarily our wants). Our house is small, but it’s perfect. I have less stuff (thankfully due to purging) which makes less housework, thus I have more time with my family. We paid off both cars, sold one and DH paid cash for an older truck that he could work on himself if it ever needed it (he’s very mechanically inclined). Our house has a bunch of equity in it due to buying below our means. We have absolutely no debt.

We now pay cash or don’t buy. It’s a simple concept that’s so hard to learn. We are looking at buying a minivan for me. So, we are saving our money and are going to pay cash. We have decided to buy a newer home that’s a bit bigger. So we are waiting. We can get in on a great deal that will get us 50% off of any HUD home, and add to that about $35,000 down payment (due to the sale of our home and savings) and our payment will only be about $100 more per month than what we pay for our 1000 sq ft house built in 1935 now and it will be a home built after 2000 and have nearly twice as much sq footage.

It’s all about choices. We live uncomfortably for a while to live comfortably for life.

It’s amazing to me that you were able to pay off 35,000 dollars in one year. 

with my salary, that would be impossible.

Amy.
Well, we had two incomes and were living very miserly off of just one. We didn’t have cell phones, cable, internet - we drove really old cars. We didn’t eat out much. We used all hand me down furniture and lived in the cheapest apartment we could find in our town. We were super - super serious.

Great stuff, Kat. I really don’t have anything to add, but in light of how much strife and heartache and brokenness is caused by poor management of finances, this wisdom of yours is something that needs to be heard and heeded.

My wife and I also feel blessed to have made some good choices and been willing to live modestly and within our means. It’s very freeing not to live under a hope-crushing pile of debt.

I came here from Lisa H.’s blog.

You and your hubby were very wise. My hubby and I don’t really have a written budget yet, but it’s something we plan to start in earnest this year.

When we were first married (1992), one of the first things we did was start saving for retirement. I’m so-o-o-o-o-o thankful we did that. We’re not wealthy, but, God willing, it will help us.

I wish we had been wiser in this department...I encourage others to take all of this wise advice....I suspose the saying “do as I say, not as I do” would apply to this post.

Thankfully, God is full of grace, and has mercy on us!  I’m going to use some of this advice as we are working toward more financial freedoms.

So, I’m way behind.  It is definitley not Thursday but as this is one of my “things” I had to comment.  We too strive to live debt free.  It has been a long road for us but there is now light at the end of the tunnel.  I wish we had started off with the debt-free mindset.  We too have never had a financial argument but it has only been in the last three years that we’ve really gotten on board to work as a team to make things better.  Our goal has been to achieve financial peace.  So here are two resources that have really helped us:  Anything by Dave Ramsey but especially the Total Money Makeover. And for me, America’s Cheapest Family Gets You Right on the Money. It feels so good to know that even as a stay at home mom I am contributing to our financial well-being by managing our resources wisely and it is so nice to not have to panic when something unexpected happens. Thanks for the topic!

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