Parents University: How To Raise Compassionate Children

Posted on 02.14.08 in Parenthood Parents University and there are 9 comments.

(This is my entry for this week’s Parent’s University series. Click here to read the other entries.)

I think it’s pretty hard to teach compassion to children.

I’d even go so far as to say it’s nearly impossible.

We can’t teach compassion.

But we can show it.

I think the only way to raise children who have a heart for the poor, oppressed and lonely is if we have a heart for the poor, oppressed and lonely.

The only way they’ll know how to help others is if we show them how to help others.

5 Things I’ve Learned So Far

It’s hard to know where to start, though. I’m just starting on this journey, but here are a few things I’ve learned so far:

1. Magazines - We get the Compassion International quarterly magazine and also the World Vision yearly gift catalog. Both of these have been very effective ways for us to show our children what need looks like.

2. Be Consistent - Consistently talk about the needs of others. When you pray with your children at dinner, bedtime and throughout the day, pray often for those in need. Show them some of the pictures that the Uganda bloggers have been posting. Share appropriate newspaper articles that cover stories that you can discuss and pray for together.

3. Give Them Ownership - Occasionally, at the grocery store, I’ll let my girls “shop” for our local food pantry. They also draw pictures for our letters to our Compassion children.

4.  Get Involved - This is something that I want to do more. I’m still looking for places to get involved in our community. I’ve taken my kids to a local food pantry but that’s the only “action” we’ve taken apart from writing letters and sending money. I have friends who regularly visit the elderly and serve the homeless. I’m ready to move beyond learning and giving with my children. I want to serve with them too.

5. Pray - It’s more powerful than anything else we can do. God can use it to change the world and our hearts at the same time. Pray with your kids. Pray often. Pray not just for what you need, but for what others need.

Your Turn

What did your parent’s do or what are you doing to teach your children to have compassion for others? Submit an entry for Parent’s University or share in the comments here. 

The Comments:

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Here is another way to change your world, and affect your kids at the same time.  My Mom & Dad had a little thing they did to get out of their comfort zone and make me aware of others’ needs.

“Brother Sonny” came to our church when I was a teenager. He was a missionary from Mexico City.  More specifically, the dump in Mexico City.  The next year mom and dad went there to visit.

After that, they went to the dump in Mexico City almost every year for a while, and took all the clothes and spanish bibles they could cram into thier car.  They spent thier vacation there (two weeks every year).  Compassion in action.

I still remember the weird smile my dad had on his face as he stuffed kids clothes into a a giant suitcase he had bought at the Goodwill Store.

It affected me in many ways.  I just had to have parents that lived what they believed.  And just when I was enjoying being the cool, popular kid.  Dang it…

Thier actions had the effect of moving me into active compassion for others.  When you see your dad helping a poor little mexican kid into a new t-shirt, it has an effect on you.  This was the preface to my street ministry days.

Sometimes following Christ means you have to do things you are not comfortable with.  But you affect not only the people you are in direct contact with, but those around you who are watching.

Great ideas, Kat!  I love how you let your girls shop for the food pantry--my boys would get very excited about that. 

Maybe next week I’ll get back into the parent’s university vibe--I wasn’t feeling it today! 

My little guy can’t talk yet.  So, this is only theory.  My husband and I have discussed this subject though.  We decided that as our children grow older they will be able to show compassion in different ways according to their age and development. One thing we have discussed doing when they are younger is making sandwiches for Caritas on a regular basis and delivering them to feed those in need.  When they are in high school, myabe mission trips and Habitat for Humanity.  This is all theory right now, but we want to raise our child(ren) to be aware of others in need.

Deemus,
I definitely want to do something like that. My Grandmother did something similar around the holidays that had a lifelong impact on me.

Lisa H,
They do love to shop - although it’s tough to convince them that 12 boxes of Fruit Loops may not be the best choice…

Lindsey,
Good theory. I hope you’re little guy is feeling better. You both are great parents.

Thanks for teaching my kids to eat broccoli.

My family has been involved with World Vision for several years. I make pins and sell them at craft fairs and donate the money to World Vision. My kids help me at the fairs.

Also, we started giving our extended family members gifts out of the World Vision gift catalog for Christmas. Now my inlaws have gotten in on the act- this year for Christmas, each of my kids were given a check for $100.00 from their grandparents, and were allowed to donate it to any charity of their choice.

This week, I will be going to my daughter’s school to help the students make blankets, and then some of the students will go to a nursing home to give them to the residents. The teacher was really receptive when I presented the idea to her.

I truly believe that children learn by example. When they get to participate in the joy of giving, it excites them and makes them want to look for ways to get involved on their own.

Oops, forgot to include my blog address, in case you’re interested.  http://www.TheNobleWife.com

jacquelynne,
I love that World Vision catalog. It’s such a practical guide to giving.

Those are some great ideas. Thanks for sharing!

Good stuff, Kat.  I look forward to hearing your other ideas!

What wonderful ideas, Kat.  When I was growing up, my mother would take us with her to visit nursing homes.  One of would sometimes play piano so that some of the residents could sing along to the residents.  I never realized how much this was appreciated until my own grandmother went into a nursing home.  It was hard for her to never go to church again since she was used to going every time the door opened.  They miss hearing the word of God, and they miss singing hymns.  Some homes, like the one my Grandma was in, have a preacher/clergyman come to the home every Sunday to have a service.  But I’m sure that’s not the case everywhere.  I’m hoping that now that my youngest child is 2 1/2 we can start doing visits like this.  We shouldn’t use the excuse that our children are too young to take along because, not only will they learn compassion, but the residents LOVE to visit with babies and young children.  It just brightens up their day. 

Another thing I want to start doing is to start taking my kids to a homeless shelter when we want to donate a bag of toys, etc.  That would make a much bigger impression on them than just seeing someone come to our door and take the bag away.  Seeing another child’s eyes light up when they embrace an old stuffed animal would help them to realize why we need to give to others.

Thanks for making me think about all of this!

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