Parent’s University: 12 Tips From A Wise Mother (Not Me…Obviously.)
Posted on 07.16.08 in Parenthood Parents University and there are 6 comments.
Welcome to another installment of Parent’s University. Feel free to join in. Just write a helpful post about parenting and add your link below (at the end of the post).
Wise Words From Heidi
I was going through my email the other day and somehow happened upon an old blog comment I must have overlooked. After reading it, I’m SO glad I found it. It is a goldmine of ideas and advice on parenting.
The woman who wrote this is Heidi (aka CincySAHM4). She doesn’t have a blog, but I think she needs to start one...I love these ideas. I hope you will too.
12 TIps for Parents
1. Your kids don’t need to know every detail of your life before Motherhood. This is especially important when you have a tweener in the house.
2. Remember that you are raising someone else’s husband/wife. Set the rules for mannners, chores, accountability, respect, honesty, etc. and stick to them without fail! Your children will respect you even when it seems they can’t stand you.
3. Trust your instincts. Don’t let others sway you on what you want for your family or your children. Weather it’s the preschool you love, the soccer coach you just don’t like or the teacher who seems just a bit off but everyone else just loves. Trust yourself.
4. Practice letting go a little at a time.
5. Remember who you are. Find something that you are passionate about to stay involved in. You’ll thank me when your youngest child turns 12.
6. Have a regular Date Night with the hubby. Even if you just sit at Barnes and Noble reading magazines and drinking coffee.
7. Have a regular “Family Night.” My kids so look forward to family night. We rent movies, go swimming or play basketball at the YMCA, bowl, play board games, etc. The two youngest are paired with the two older kids so that everyone learns to play. Great way to teach teamwork, cooperation, etc.
8. Eat dinner together every single night...even as they get older.
9. Pray together every single night. There are great age appropriate devotionals out there for boys and girls, tweens and teens. It’s a great way to stay connected with your child and to keep the lines of communication flowing.
10. Shared Journal. Oh, my favorite. My 11 year old daughter and I have a “shared journal” where we write back and forth to one another about silly stuff, serious stuff and sometimes even draw pictures. It’s been a great way for her to talk to me about things that she might not feel comfortable talking about face to face.
11. Love notes...in the lunch boxes. I love to do this. I buy themed napkins and write a note or short bible verse each day. Oct is Autumn (we don’t do Halloween), Nov is Thanksgiving, Dec is Christmas, Feb is Valentines, April is Easter, etc. Sometimes I find themed ziploc baggies for their sandwiches too. It’s just a little something special they get each day.
12. Find a mom who has kids about 3 - 5 years older than yours to mentor you. You won’t regret it. My oldest is in 6th grade and I have intentionally sought out a mother who has high school aged children. I can talk to her about preparing my daughter for college, what’s important what’s not, social stuff, her take on dating, boys, “mean” girl stuff, when is it appropriate to wear make up, etc. It’s always nice to have someone who’s been there done that to say, “Hey, you’re being a bit unreasonable.” or “If you do that...it could lead to this!” Obviously, you should use your own best judgement and talk with your husband but it’s nice to have a sounding board.
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A Word From Kat on Mentoring
Isn’t that great stuff? I have to agree especially on the mentoring tip. I recently sought out a mom of 4 older kids and I’ve been meeting with her and asking her advice on a number of current issues and issues that I think I’ll encounter in the near future.
You may not know an older parent, but don’t let that deter you. I didn’t know this woman very well, but I knew she was a great mom so I just sucked up my pride and asked if she’d be willing to meet with me.
It has been priceless.
Your Turn
What parenting ideas or tips do you have to share? Write them in the comments or on your blog and add your link below.
See you next Thursday for another installment of Parent’s University!
There are 6 comments.
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The Comments:
Thank you so much for posting this! As I read it, I thought to myself “I need to copy this or bookmark it or print it or something so that I have it handy when I eventually have children.”
These are fantastic tips, truly.
Jul 17, 08 at 07:16 pm
A few of my parenting tips.....
1. Don’t wish away whatever stage you are in. Someday you will miss it. Find the special moments in each stage of parenting.
2. When things go wrong, try to remind yourself that usually it is an inconvenience, not a tragedy, and respond accordingly.
3. Eliminate and Concentrate: eliminate unnecessary clutter-physically, emotionally, mentally, time wasters--and concentrate on what is important.
4. While books and experts are always helpful in learning more about parenting, remember that God is the ultimate expert and He designed you especially to be the mother of your children. Therefore, go to Him first when looking for answers.
These are a few of the things that I have been learning lately.....I know I’ll think of more.
Jul 17, 08 at 08:42 pm
This is great advice.
Parenting is a very personal thing, but I always listen to or read advice from others.
I love the mentoring tip. The tips on showing your child you love them. And I really think the tip about letting go is important too. It’s one that isn’t brought up very often. It’s hard to do but so important to give our little ones room to experience life and be independant (even if we can’t help following a block behind ‘just to make sure’).
Jul 17, 08 at 09:56 pm
All this advice is really great. I particularly love Keri’s #1 tip. We made it a point to enjoy every stage, and now that our kids are teens, we REALLY miss their littleness. Your kids are entirely yours & you’re a real hero until they’re around 12, so ENJOY it!
My #1 piece of advice, besides trusting God with your children, is to start the dialogue with your kids while their young and keep them talking. My kids are 15 1/2 & 17, and even though we’ve hit a rough patch or two(or more with my oldest), they still talk our ears off. I have to remind my husband every now and then that this is a good thing and to just let ‘em talk. We’ve had difficult discussions with them & heard their point of view whether we like it or not, but I tell myself that that is better than them hiding in their rooms turning into strangers. Get them used to talking to you and knowing that conversation with mom & dad is safe. Don’t feel like you have to fix everything or launch into a sermon (this really doesn’t work with teens). Just converse & listen, be respectful. I think this has done wonders for us during these teen years, but we started when they were toddlers. When we lose our cool, we admit it, just like we expect them to.
Also, I might add that it really helps to remind yourself that they’re not going to be wise like 40 at 15 (there are some bizarre exceptions, but even those kids have some flaw, like perfectionism). They’ll need to have their own life changing encounter with God, whether they’ve been raised the perfect Christian kid or not, and they won’t be all wise & settled just for our peace of mind!
I think the teen years are harder on the parents, because we’re having to say good bye to their childhood (they were JUST babies!!) and learn how to speak to them as adults instead of children & both at the same time sometimes!
Ah, I think I’ve said enough.
Jul 18, 08 at 01:25 pm
I like the one about raising someone’s husband or wife, that is an interesting perspective to take while raising my boys.
Jul 19, 08 at 12:00 pm
those are all awesome tips
I totally think finding another mother whom you emulate and is in a similar situation as your self or where you want to be is such a good idea. You can start a relationship where you can encourage each other, you can learn from each other and really KNOW that you’re not in it alone. The mom I emulate is a mother of 11 (lol I think that scares my husband) and she really is a life line for me. I can look at her and say, “look she’s doing it, so can I!”
Via the Feed
andira
Jul 17, 08 at 07:33 am