December 14, 2006 | In: Family

What Not To Say To Your Pregnant Wife

Here is an excerpt from a conversation I had with my sweet husband today as I was leaving the house to meet a friend for coffee:

Me: “Well, I should be back before dinner. I love you.”

(hug)

Him: (Steps back and looks at me.) “I think you’re bigger this pregnancy than you were the other two. Wouldn’t you say?”

Me: blank stare

Him: “I mean at this point in your pregnancy I think you’re stomach is bigger. “

Me: blank stare

Him: “Um…I mean it’s bigger in a pregnant way….not in a fat way.”

Me: blank stare

Him: “But…but…you don’t look pregnant at ALL from behind.”

Me: blank stare

Him: “I mean you’re a really fit pregnant woman….you look great….”

Me: blank stare

Him: “I suppose that’s one of those things you shouldn’t say to your pregnant wife….?”

Me: “I suppose so.”

17 Responses to What Not To Say To Your Pregnant Wife

euphrony

December 14th, 2006 at 6:40 pm

I’m glad I’ve never said something like that to my wife.

Never.

Really.

(Mrs. Euphrony, you just keep quiet!)

thecachinnator

December 14th, 2006 at 10:41 pm

*Singing*

“Heeeeere she comes,

North Americaaaaa….”

(Is that out too then?)

Ryan G

December 15th, 2006 at 4:04 am

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAH

Oh! That brought a tear to my eye!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

mimi

December 15th, 2006 at 4:55 am

I guess that’s a big boy…!!

I will already buy size 6 months clothes..(ha)

Cristy

December 15th, 2006 at 6:23 am

They say you carry babies differently depending on sex…don’t know if it’s true, but maybe that’s the difference he’s seeing. I couldn’t help but laugh though…sorry.

Dave Haupert

December 15th, 2006 at 10:59 am

Haha- God bless you for just giving a blank stare. I don’t think my similar comments got me just a blank stare. I can’t tell for sure as I’ve mentally blocked out those painful times in my past

Why don’t you update your pic on the site with a more current one and we’ll see if your hubby is right- maybe you can do one of those pic animations every day for the length of your pregnancy like:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6B26asyGKDo

Somehow I don’t think you’ll go for it though – just a hunch.

Seth Ward

December 15th, 2006 at 8:24 pm

I think that “But…but…you don’t look pregnant at ALL from behind.” is pure genius.

I think it is also ironic that “food17” is my verification word. Not that that means you eat a lot of food. or even that you had 17 helpings… i mean, you don’t need food to… get pregnant. yeah.

Chaotic Hammer

December 16th, 2006 at 7:21 am

Well, like it says in the Bible: When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

(Disclaimer: Yes, I know it doesn’t really say that in the Bible. But you’d be surprised how many wise sayings that are not in the Bible, are thought by many folks to be in the Bible.)

Kat

December 17th, 2006 at 5:23 pm

Dave,

If I had iSight built into my laptop, I might take the time to post a picture of my pregnant gut, so if you’d like to purchase a new MacBook for me, I’d be happy to oblige so that everyone could determine for themselves whether or not my stomach is actually larger than my previous pregnancies.

I’ll be watching for the UPS man.

Cach,

Miss North America? I’ll be having a talk with Beeki.

(Actually, I thought that was pretty hilarious. I’d not heard that before.)

Cristy,

Feel free to laugh. I did. I do think I’m carrying my little boy a bit differently, although, I’m sure my body is quite stretchy since this is the third time I’ve been through this, so I may very well be showing a bit more.

Mimi,

I certainly hope this little boy isn’t much bigger than The Smaller Person considering she was 8.5 pounds!

Seth,

Food17? That’s pretty funny. I actually get the “you don’t look pregnant at all from behind line a lot.” I’m never quite sure how to respond to that.

Ryan, C-Hammer and Euphrony,

Thank you for refraining from sarcastic comments. You were always my favorites.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY:

If you are a man talking to a pregnant woman. There are two phrases that are safe to say:

1. You’re going to be a great mom.

2. You look great.

Don’t elaborate. Don’t comment. Just leave it there. Otherwise, bring your shovel.

Frankly, we’ve been laughing about this conversation for days. Glad you all were entertained too!

Kim

January 8th, 2007 at 4:14 pm

Okay, that was laugh-out-loud funny. Thanks for sharing. Perhaps it will prevent my hubby from saying something similar the next time around! He is sitting right here and made the comment, “I’m glad I’m not the only one who says stupid stuff!” It’s good to know we’re not alone in the world.

Kim

January 9th, 2007 at 1:08 pm

I mean, that’s not to say that your husband is…I mean…um, er…I didn’t mean to imply that he is stupid or anything…um…I just meant that my husband sometimes says stupid stuff, too..I mean, not that he’s stupid either…um…I’m just saying… oh nevermind.

Kat Jacobs

January 9th, 2007 at 1:17 pm

I’m afraid, my dear, you’ve just dug yourself into a hole.

I’m just glad my husband doesn’t have a blog where he records all MY missteps…

(for the record, I do make sure he’s cool with anything I write about him before I post it on the blog….)

marianne

January 22nd, 2007 at 7:12 pm

So it’s really true…a very late (I’m sure) Congratulations!

This story makes me smile…memories. Only I wasn’t nearly as polite as you as a pregnant woman!

kimmie

August 31st, 2007 at 5:54 pm

Woooah, now that was funny…ha ha ha.